Paper Feedback

The feedback that Ms. Scott gave was really helpful. She pointed out things that I hadn't even noticed when reading over my paper. When I turned my paper in last week, I was still unclear as to what the focus of my paper should be. I also was still unclear as to how I was supposed to approached the reader, and in my case, the Governor of Virginia. In a lot of papers, you're not supposed to use personal references such as, "I think" or "you have to", etc. Going through the comments Ms. Scott left, I had sort of a "duh" moment with the fact that I am writing a personal research proposal, so it would be wise to get personal!Probably the biggest thing for me to fix is writing my paper to the proper audience. I went back and forth a lot of who I was writing to and about what. With my final, I need to go through and decide on what exactly I want to focus on and how I should go about addressing it to the Governor.