Essay Feedback

Once again, the essay feedback was really helpful. Prof. Scott made some really good points. When I was writing my essay, I felt that it sort of dropped off at the end, and I wasn't sure how to conclude it. Also, because it is my friend's story, Prof. Scott made a good point that it creates a better effect if I keep it that way so that it doesn't seem that I am as biased about the topic.
Another thing that Prof. Scott made me aware of is that my essay has two focuses right now. I should pick one and direct my writing towards that so I can make a bigger impact on the reader.
Other than that, I think Prof. Scott covered the areas I was shaky on. Of course I'll have to go over my grammar and organization of everything, but for the most part I got the feedback I needed.